I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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