At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
