That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
