Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
