im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
