I could make wine with my vomit
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I woke up under a house in Key West
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize