The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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