In the future we'll all be gay
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
