i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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