Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
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She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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