They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
