"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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