i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
