it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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