I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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