All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
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Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
do nipples grow back?
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