I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
