I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
