This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Randomize
