I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
