Dude my mom stole all your condoms
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize