he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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