yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
