it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Say something about gay babies.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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