Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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