I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
