she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
