every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
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I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
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You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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