i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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