What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
