I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm eating all of the evidence.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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