things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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