I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
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