You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
