It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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