we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
