i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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