the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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