Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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