I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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