the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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