I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
