and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
