I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
