Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
