So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
