I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I don't deserve a penis
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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