READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
