you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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