Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I am mentally ready for anal.
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