You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
