Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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