My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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