i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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