He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
