I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
