and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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