...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
