i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
