I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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