in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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